ONE YEAR LATER

I cried twice on our wedding day. The first time was when I got into my dress and it hit me like a ton of bricks that my mom wasn't there to zip it up. I actually began to fall forward and caught myself just before I completely wiped out. I think I had been mentally preparing for that exact moment since the night at the hospital that the doctor told us she wasn't going to make it. 

The second time I cried was when I did a first look with my dad. I was in my bridal suite, surrounded by my bridesmaids, and our photographer brought my dad in. We looked at one another and he said, "You look amazing!" We held it together for about .043249372 seconds. Then he held me and we both lost it. And I'm pretty sure all of the girls lost it, too.

Ben and I were married by my childhood cantor from Temple Beth Am - the same cantor who Bat Mitzvahed me. She talked about my connection to Judaism, my mom, and she even read aloud separate letters Ben and I had written to her about our love for one another. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house. Except for me and Ben. (And Perri is a loud cryer, but even hearing her, I still held it together.)

I didn't cry at our first look, down the aisle, under the chuppah, or after the ceremony. I was simply too giddy, too busy grinning like an idiot. October 10, 2015 was the best day of my life. 

Ben, "I live for loving you," in the words of Gloria Estefan. Thank you for creating a life with me that makes me want to smile all the time. I cannot imagine the joy and adventure this year (and all the others) will bring.

Other favorite memories:

Brunch with my bridesmaids. We went around the table and each girl told me what I meant to her, and then I told each girl what they meant to me. (The first part was their idea and they totally sprung it on me; I'd planned to do my part all along.) We shared memories, funny stories, and by the end we were all caught between fits of laughter and sobbing. It was so beautiful, and I'm SO grateful I reserved that block of time on Friday just for US.

Breakfast with my dad and Nana the morning of the wedding. I opted to stay by myself the night before the wedding, knowing that I'm a bad sleeper and also that I really needed the time by myself. I woke up at 6:15, texted my dad, and we met in Nana's room. We went to Starbucks, and then the three of us went down to the hotel restaurant and I ate a GIANT omelet. (I was not one of those brides who was too nervous to eat, by the way. HELL no.) Ben's brother stopped by our table to say good morning, and he said, "This is really cool, to have three generations at one table like this. You guys are really lucky." That stuck with me. Those few hours with just my father and my grandmother were the calmest hours I had all weekend, and I'm so grateful for that time.

Walking down the aisle. The single best moment of my life. I always imagined walking down the aisle to Canon in D Major by Pachelbel, but once we got engaged I couldn't listen to it without crying. So I decided I'd have my bridal party walk down to it, and after our sister and brother walked down the aisle the door would be shut and the song would change. When we were all lining up to walk down, I yelled, "BEN! THE SONG IS GOING TO CHANGE BEFORE I COME IN! PAY ATTENTION TO THE MUSIC!" I knew it would be an overwhelming moment but I didn't want him to miss it. I walked down the aisle holding my dad's hand while our musicians played this version of "Human Nature," one of Ben's favorite songs. It was perfect and I wish I'd asked someone to tape it.

Our alone time post-ceremony. We were ushered into a room and left alone immediately after walking up the aisle. We were both shaking and giggling with excitement. When Ben broke the glass just before the "MAZEL TOV" a piece of the glass got stuck in his shoe, so we carefully removed that before clinking glasses, having a little something to eat and enjoying the quiet before we were taken into the cocktail hour.

Dancing into the reception to "Oh What A Night" by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Little known fact: I am OBSESSED with Frankie Valli. I chose our entrance song, and Ben chose our first dance song. Originally we wanted to do something by the Beach Boys (we LOVE them), but we couldn't agree on a song. I was really pulling for "Forever" because it describes exactly how I feel about Ben. ("If every word I said could make you laugh, I'd talk forever...") It's kind of a tough song to dance to, though. I suggested "God Only Knows" but Ben said he couldn't listen to it without thinking of Six Feet Under (thanks a lot, HBO). So when he came to me with "I Only Have Eyes For You" by The Flamingoes, I agreed almost immediately. I first heard the song years ago on my favorite show, The Wonder Years.

Perri's speech.

My dad's speech.

Dancing to "The Wind Beneath My Wings" with my dad.

Dancing to "Remember The Time" with Ben.

Endless hugs and tequila.

I'm sharing my speech below. Heads up, I curse at the end (in case you are watching this on a public computer). 

Thank you to EVERYONE who helped make 10/10/15 the best day of our lives! I love you ALL!

Ben, I love you the most.

Our original wedding post here.