One thing that I've never wavered from in my almost-10 years of blogging is that I'm as candid as possible, at all times. I've tried editorial calendars and schedules in the past, but the truth is that most of the time, I write about what's on my mind as it's happening.
Since becoming pregnant, I've noticed there are a lot of topics that are maybe not totally polite or politically correct to discuss out loud, but I rarely shy away from being honest. I put up this instagram post largely in part because it was exactly how I felt in that moment, and I thought maybe some people could relate, or at least laugh. (More on that below.) So I thought I'd share some things that might not be popular to chat about in mixed company, but I'm banishing that notion in hopes maybe one or two of you can relate to any of these points or at least glean from them.
1. Morning sickness lasts all day. Who coined that term? When I'm nauseous (which was every single day from weeks 6-16, now it comes and goes less frequently) it's not relegated to any specific time. My doctor told me at our first prenatal appointment that frequent snacking is what helps to keep the nausea at bay. I haven't found a whole lot of relief elsewhere. She prescribed me Ondansetron which was somewhat helpful. But there were absolutely moments where I thought I was going to shit my pants during a personal training session. On the plus side, that never actually happened and I have not thrown up once. It's more general discomfort and dry heaves.
The only plus to all of the nausea is that it reminds me that something is happening in there, and many medical professionals say that it's a good sign that things are actually okay. Apparently my mom was very nauseous with me, and I was born with a lot of hair. According to my dad these two facts are absolutely intertwined, so in my case I hope she comes out with a hair bow!
2. Pregnancy anxiety is real. Or is it? I'm not sure about this one, but I can only speak from personal experience and as someone who has managed her anxiety fairly well for the past six or seven years, it's been through the roof since I found out I was with child. It's subsided a bit as my pregnancy progresses - the more sonograms I see, the days I check off my calendar, the more settled and calm I feel. I do think as women we underplay what a huge deal carrying and delivering another human life truly is. I wonder and worry every single day if she's okay, if she's comfortable in there, if I've created a good enough "home" for her.
3. I feel oddly attached to my dog. I know the days of it being just us are numbered, so I want to be near Winnie as much as possible. As I type this, I'm reclining on our couch and she's asleep snuggled up next to me. Oftentimes I will get out of bed around 3 or 4 in the morning and retreat to the couch in hopes that a new, cooler environment will help soothe me back to sleep. Winnie sleeps in bed with us but every single time I do this, she follows me and will typically fall asleep either on my legs or next to them.
Yesterday we were packing and getting stuff done around the apartment, and I'd put a cookie inside of her Busy Buddy to keep her occupied for a bit. She played with it for quite awhile and must've finally gotten the cookie out, because at one point I looked up from what I was doing and she was just standing there, staring into space, looking sad. I stopped what I was doing, sat on the floor with her, and just began to sob. I felt horribly guilty that we hadn't paid much attention to her for the past hour. Winnie is an interesting character; she's incredibly independent but thrives on lots of attention. She's really energetic and if she doesn't get ample playtime, she gets grumpy and acts out. In that sense she's a much more high maintenance dog than we'd anticipated, and it'll be interesting once a baby is in the mix. The thought of walking her while pushing our baby in a stroller is already giving me agida.
4. It's not the weight gain that's bothering me, it's not knowing how much I'll gain. As someone who has worked really hard on her personal health for the past six years, this mental hurdle is one I just can't get over. Because I've struggled with weight gain in the past, I have fears that those demons are coming back to get me. I spoke to one of my best friends (and fellow moms) about this recently, and even though we have very different personalities when it comes to fitness, etc. she reassured me by agreeing that it was the toughest mental hurdle of her pregnancy as well. Generally throughout my own pregnancy I've been eating pretty well and I move whenever I can (though keeping a regimented workout schedule has been a real challenge - more on that later...) so I do know on some level that I'm maintaining a "fit" pregnancy and the weight gain is what it is.
5. Pricey prenatal vitamins are worth it. One of the many tips I gleaned from becoming a Pre & Post Natal Personal Trainer is that if you're even thinking about having a baby, you should be taking a daily prenatal vitamin. This is largely because folic acid is necessary for your baby's health from the moment it is conceived, so you want to ensure your body has a good suppy from the very start. I took several different prenatal vitamins before landing on Smarty Pants, and honestly, I'd had my eye on them for many months - way before we conceived - but they seemed a bit pricey for such a small amount. A month or so ago I broke down and decided to try them, and I wish I'd just done that from the start. They're worth the money and I hate myself for being cheap. I swear I've felt less consistently nauseous since I started on them (I have them as soon as I wake up) and they're tasty and enjoyable to eat, which means I never forget to take them.
P.S. Since I started writing this post I've already cried about Winnie again. She repositioned herself so now she's asleep on my lap, and I cried to Ben about how much I appreciate that she follows me out to the couch from bed because she knows I need the company (even though it often means less sleep for me because she's 38 pounds, very warm and has zero concept of personal space). Dogs are really amazing creatures and we are not worthy.