I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. In the afternoon I got a message on Facebook from one of my mom's friends from years and years ago, asking me for my mom's phone number because she wanted to get back in touch with her. Um. You expect to have these awkward encounters in the year or so following your parent's passing, but three and a half years later? I wrote her back immediately letting her know, which of course prompted the immediate reply of, "What happened?" and all different kinds of ways of expressing shock. Sorry - not a conversation I want to have on Thanksgiving (or ever). 

I remember in the months following her death I'd brace myself every time we were in Miami and ran into someone we knew (which is often as my dad was born and raised there, my parents went to UM and lived there for 20ish years following). I kept thinking, "What if we run into someone who hasn't heard the news yet?" I didn't know if I could take it - the gasps, the hands over the mouth, the looks of pity. It's just so damn uncomfortable. It never happened, but I feel like this message exchange was the awkward encounter I'd feared all those months. It still sucks. It never stops sucking.


Earlier this year, one of my clients asked me what I thought I'd miss the most once I became pregnant. Without hesitation I answered, "Starbucks!" I knew pregnant women had limits on caffeine intake and at this point I was having around two drinks a day, so the idea of dialing that WAY back felt pretty unappealing. Now that I'm almost 25 weeks I have to say that while I don't consume nearly as much Starbucks as I used to (and I miss my old barista crew by our apartment SO much) it doesn't even make the top 5 list of pre-pregnancy things I miss. Here's what does...


(20 weeks pregnant and living in a very small hotel room with Ben & Win when our move got delayed. That's a story for a different day! Wearing my fav maternity tee, maternity leggings, navy trainers ((on sale!)) and an old Athleta cardigan. Open sweaters = a preggo's best friend. Also, my bump is officially too big for me to comfortably wear cross body bags, so I've been carrying this tote everywhere.)

1. Sushi. I've had "pregnancy safe" sushi a number of times; when we were still living in the city, we'd go to Hillstone every few weeks and I'd get my fix. (I've ALWAYS loved their sushi, but pregnancy brought upon a new appreciation for it. I get the Classic California Roll and their Coconut Shrimp Roll. So good. And the ONLY placed I'd EVER order a California roll...). I have found a good tempura shrimp roll by our new house, but on Friday I tried a cooked salmon roll and oh my God. Awful. Just awful. I cannot WAIT to eat raw fish again.

2. Sleeping on my back. I slept on my back a lot in the first trimester because it still felt safe back then, but now I'm way too big (and I can't believe I'm going to get even bigger). I admit that I haven't been using my Snoogle all that much (though I think it'll be clutch if I can make breastfeeding work). Side sleeping gets uncomfortable after a few hours because I start to feel pain high in my IT Band, which means I need to switch sides periodically (not always easy if Winnie has limbs draped over me...) Sometimes I will try to doze off slightly propped up, just so I can be "on my back". 

3. Intermittent Fasting. Yes, I really do miss it, and because it's not considered safe, healthy or effective while pregnant or breastfeeding, I honestly have no idea when I'll get back to it. It was truly exciting seeing the progress I was making. I was mid-fast the morning I took the pregnancy test, and made myself a bowl of cereal several minutes after I saw the test was positive. Seeing the scale creep up has been really hard for me; even though I know it's natural, I can't help but remember all of the hard work I put into my body before conceiving this baby. I'm already looking forward to getting it back!

4. Living in sports bras. It was a rare moment that I put on a real bra with underwire and a clasp in the past few years. Between my job and my small chest, I pretty much lived in sports bras and pullover styles (this style and this style - still love both). When I was in Manhattan a few weeks ago, I was so uncomfortable and knew it was time to give in, so I broke down and went to Saks and bought this maternity/nursing bra. I've been living in it ever since and know it's probably time to buy a second one (womp womp). Speaking of shopping, Black Friday was a bit of a bust for me this year, though I did score my favorite hat in a new color (I always get so many questions/compliments about this hat!) and I decided to treat myself to this hospital bag set that I'd been eyeing for months. 

5. My crazy work schedule. When I started at Equinox, someone told me that only 20% of new Equinox trainers make it past the first 6 months. 20%! That's 1 out of 5 new trainers who find some level of attainable success. Whether or not that's true, I'm unsure, but I can see how it would be given the dozens and dozens of new hires I saw filter in and out during my two years there. As someone who definitely spent a portion of her life half-assing things, I have to say that quitting never occurred to me, not once. In my mind there was no option - I was going to find a way to make it work. I totally see why and how so many don't; the money is very slow at first and you've definitely got to have some sort of a side hustle mentality going in order to stay afloat. It was my first training gig and they certainly do not make it easy to crack it and stick around. Looking back, I'm pretty proud of myself. I left when I was at the top of my game, hitting my numbers and making my bonuses. I miss it SO much but it was the right decision for me, for now. I'm already looking forward to getting back in the game (in some capacity!) post-baby.

Fellow moms and moms-to-be, what did/do you miss the most? If you're thinking of becoming pregnant, what do you think you'll miss the most? I don't crave caffeine nearly as much as I used to, which has been a nice surprise (thought I still have a bit almost every single day).